Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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