Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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