Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
