you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
