I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
