is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
