New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
