I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
