who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
