Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
