ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
