I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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