Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
