Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
