the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize