i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
