How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
