We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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