yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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