Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
organizing the empties. That sober.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
