God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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