I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
