i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
