How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
