That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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