her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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