After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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