Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
