Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
