Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
