He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
