I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
