He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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