If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
