Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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