The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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