lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Couch. On fire.
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