I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Randomize
