she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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