he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
