you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
