and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
