it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
