i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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