please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
