Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
