She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
