Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.

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(347): View more from New York

alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.

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(317): View more from Indiana

She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here

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(248): View more from Michigan

sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.

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(530): View more from California

Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me

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(630): View more from Illinois

Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...

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