Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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