yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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