yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
