shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
